June 19, 2006

Meme Monday, part one: the bad

Posted in Memes, Musings, Personal, Politics at 11:20 am by The Lizard Queen

Evil Bender posted one of these a few weeks back, and I had considered who I might put in mine, but an experience last night (namely getting stiffed by a party of six at my table-waiting job–I also currently have a beer-serving job and a tutoring job) made me irritated enough to actually put one together. So, here is the Dante-style hell I put together:


People who drive under the speed limit in the fast lane
Circle I Limbo

General asshats
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Rush Limbaugh
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Ann Coulter
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

People who don’t tip their servers at restaurants or bars
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Bill O’Reilly
Circle VII Burning Sands

Osama bin Laden, Fred Phelps
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Stalin, Hitler
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Ooh, I forgot: the person who came up with easy listening music has to be in there somewhere. Oh well. Boy, this playing god thing is tougher than you’d think… 😉


1 Comment »

  1. DavidD said,

    I read Dante’s Inferno as a senior in high school. It may have been the first time that moral outrage pushed its way completely out of my mouth, to the surprise of my teacher, and of me, too. The triggering offense was Dante’s placement of Muhammad in a lower level of hell, his abdomen cut open, having to hold his organs in. Why? Because Islam shrank Christendom? How provincial! Is there no credit for astronomy and mathematics, for saving Greek manuscripts when the only use Europeans had for them was to wipe themselves? Islam cured Malcolm X of his racism. It didn’t prevent his murder by Muslims who hadn’t learned the same lesson. OK, so it’s a mixed record. Isn’t God’s record that way as well?

    There is much hatred, indifference and falseness that I hate. I wish I were above that, but maybe even God isn’t above hate and in solidarity God and I choose together that I not be either. That doesn’t mean vengeance is inevitable. Everyone who does things I hate will die. Punishment enough? They are dead today already, but their bodies haven’t completed the process. Can they grow a spirit before their bodies die completely? Or are they stuck being spiritually dead as well? Maybe so. If that means there is nothing to them spirituaIly, then nothing spiritual need be done. If that means there is something negative that needs to be balanced, then so it does. If God needs vengeance to be part of that process I support Him. The living need each other, not the dead. It is good to be purged of hate, but even better if such purging can be accomplished without causing more suffering, more to regret. Even I know how to do this some. I suspect God can do it better. If not He has everything I am to help Him.

    If any part of Hitler and Stalin survived death, it might be best to keep them occupied and comfortable. Keep them out of trouble. Sit them down in an easy chair. Give them a cold drink. Let them watch engaging videos, even porn if they want, free porn. If some say this is unjust, let them in turn have what will occupy them. In this world if a judge is lenient with a rapist, people say that this judge is saying rape is OK. The judge knows if that’s not true, if the leniency is something else that Bill O’Reilly never will understand. God doesn’t need to have what is right and wrong demonstrated to Him in another world as it has been in this world. An audience needs to see justice done to know what the author believes is right and wrong. The author already knows. He doesn’t need practical proof.

    For things done to me, I forgive everyone everything. It’s not for me to do anything else, even though my hot blood means such complete forgiveness is only accomplished once all the madness of this life stops. It’s also not for me to forgive what people have done to God. If He holds a grudge for that, I’ll even hold you down while He kicks you. I’d hold myself down if need be. We’ll all be better off when He gets it out of His system. Then no more judgment. It’s not nice. But we’ll both help you if that party of six still bugs you by then. “I thought you left the tip … No, didn’t you? …” That’s what they might say if they weren’t too drunk and not the miserly reprobates they may in fact be. Or do you only serve beer at your beer-serving job? Well, maybe they are reprobates. Don’t worry, dear, God knows how to get it out of your system. Even Mommy and Daddy know, but they do it differently. Let God have the deciding vote.

    Let’s see, comfy chair, free porn and whatever else vs. the joy of being an instrument to administer God’s vengeance. I trust God to place me accordingly. God says He trusts me, too. That means more work, doesn’t it? Ah, the joy and spiritual purity of work. Oh well, maybe I can still have a comfy chair some of the time. What’s eternity without variety? It’s reduced to a single moment, that’s what. Either way, let the outrage out. My high school teacher recovered. In time I did, too.

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